Divine Daytripper Freelance Travel Writer
Essays





 

Three Steps to Transformation

When things don’t go according to plan, it takes great effort to regain the balance we seek.  Our genetic makeup encourages us to create order out of chaos.  We want to line our ducks up all in a row.  After all, who wants struggle and challenge in our lives? 

What about if we looked at hard times as milestones to spiritual growth?  We could thenconsider these trying times as opportunities to become stronger and more devoted to awareness of how temporal our lives are.  We will never pass this way again.

How then, do we surrender to the struggle? I’d like you to consider these three steps to transformation:

1. Remain present for the experience

The need to escape the struggle is the path of least resistance.  Try to remain present.  It is more painful in the short run, but in the long run, greater emotional health and vitality will be your reward.  I’ve found that the struggle comes through in waves.  The intensity waxes and wanes.  By remaining present, we canacknowledge the situation with clarity.  I am here now.  I will not be here forever.  This too will pass.  A mantra of mine is this: I am not the wave, I am the ocean.  I am not the cloud, I am the sky.  By remaining present for the experience, I recognize that it will pass through me.  If I try to escape from it, I know it will stay within me like a dam on a river.  I want the symbol of my life to be a flowing river, making its way Friendsto the sea. 

2. Seek and accept support

If we recognize that we are not alone in our struggle, our challenge becomes less self-centered and more about the human condition.  If we remember that we are all connected in the great mystery of life, we feel less alone and more inclined to accept support from others who also continue the struggle.  There are times in my life when I held the lantern in the dark for others, helping to show them the way.  I consider these times when I have been called to action, my greatest contributions as a human being.  It is an honor to support another being in their time of need.  In turn, when we are in our own struggle and call upon another for support, consider it a gift to them to be called upon to serve.  Remember, no one can take the journey for you, but they can hold your hand and guide you through the darkness into the light. 

3. Recognize experience becomes wisdom

When we are in the midst of our challenge, it is hard to imagine a time when the transformation will be complete and the experience will become wisdom.  The line of thinking that I follow is this: as long as I feel like I am in transformation, I am not any wiser for it.  It is when I am complete with the struggle that I can gain perspective and can then transform the experience into wisdom.  I am no longer taking part in it.  I have distance from it and can now examine it with clarity and perspective.  I can look back and reflect on my behavior and the results of my actions.  I don’t judge them as good or bad.  They simply are.  I take that information and catalog it.  Now it is in my mental and emotional files.  Soon I will be called upon to participate in another struggle.  I know it will not be any easier, but I now have a greater awareness of how to get through it.  I am wiser than before, but not as wise as I will become.

Life is a gift beyond measure.  It can sometimes be raw.  But if we allow it, our lives can become a creative expression of who we are.  The choice to be awake and present for the experience can crystallize in greater clarity our purpose for being here.  It is up to us to decide.  This opportunity to decide is given to us every time we face challenge and struggle.  When you are in the metamorphous from a cocoon to a butterfly remember that the reward of this great effort is wings to take flight.